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[18 May 2008|10:04pm] |
name: Paxton Liam Kennedy
journal | aim: ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pax | pax delivers
age: 30 (April 24, 1978)
( quick facts )
( storylines )
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[17 May 2008|09:03am] |
( I've willed, I've walked, I've read, I've talked, I know, I know, I've been here before. )
° What is your character's current situation? What do they want?: Pax has been living in the Los Angeles area for around six months now. He works as a junior editor for a well known international publishing company (think Random House) and wants nothing more than to be one of the executives one day.
° What conflicts are they facing?: Since the disastrous relationship Pax last had with a woman, he's never entirely sure around women on a level that is more than friendship. Part of him is lonely and wants to find that one woman to spend the rest of his life with, but the past has shown both through him and others that relationships rarely last. His personality has done a 180 since his engagement fell apart years ago and though he's more on the quiet side, he's gotten a little outspoken at times, being sarcastic and often insulting without intending to. Cynical, he doesn't trust easily, but he engages in numerous superficial friendships.
° What are their conscious motivations?: Excelling at work and maintaining as many relationships (be it superficial or otherwise) that he can. Over the past few years, he's been dabbling at writing his own fictitious novel, but lacks the confidence to proceed with it if he ever finishes it. He's convinced himself that it's nothing more than a hobby, but in reality what he's written means a great deal to him.
° What are their subconscious motivations?: He's yet to really acknowledge the desire to be something more than just a guy to hang with. Likewise, he wants to be able to trust again, but shuts most out at every turn. As much as he loves his career, he doesn't want that to symbolize who he is; he doesn't want to be his career. Which is why he has been considering returning to school for graduate work.
° What factors have significantly influenced them in the past?: Moving to the United States was a huge factor in who Pax has become followed very closely by his failed relationship with his former fiancée. Likewise, his brother and his failed marriage have had a great influence on Pax. Had Patrick not been in the Los Angeles are, Pax may have embarked on this new adventure going solo. His brother's failed marriage? Only served to show Pax that true love and real relationships don't last; it's nothing more than a pretty fairy tale painted on the big screen.
° What factors are significantly influencing them now?: His job, his job, and his job. Despite his subconscious concern of his job defining him, Pax has used it to his advantage from time to time, bluffing about what type of clients he has. He's not entirely ashamed to admit the amount of money he now has is quite lucrative. Again, his brother will always be one of the major influences in his life, especially living within the same county.
° How do they see themselves?: In all honesty, Pax sees himself as little more than "Average Joe." He may have money and flaunt it in what he wears and drives, but he's well aware that it's simply a front. Along with the cockiness and the slight superiority complex he has. He knows he's extremely self-conscious and is always very careful and meticulous about where things are going with himself and others. Despite hiding behind a cool exterior, Pax knows he's not that bad of a guy.
° How do others see them?: Pax is easily seen as a bit of a playboy who seemingly has it all. He charms, he befriends, and he laughs-oftentimes at you. Seen as smug and sometimes belittling, only those that dare to engage him in conversation are able to take note of the unease that can be seen in his eyes. Likewise, those that are around him quite a bit have become well aware of the way he tends to put up walls and appear mysterious so as not to allot any trust to those he associates with.
° What are some of their hopes and fears?: Success and reinstating his self-confidence are the two main hopes Pax carries. He wants to be happy, but has already convinced himself that he will never have more than brief moments of satisfaction as opposed to truly being happy. Somewhat contradicting, Pax both fears being unable to trust again as well as the actual act of trusting. He fears becoming vulnerable only to have someone take advantage of that vulnerability.
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